


Reliving the Past

by sunflowersloth



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam comforts Lance, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Klance if you squint, Lots of Angst, M/M, NOT sheith, Shiro and Adam realize their feelings, Shiro comforts Keith, So do Keith and Lance, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), broganes, earth dad adam, very gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-06-14 22:36:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15399048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowersloth/pseuds/sunflowersloth
Summary: Adam carefully got off of the bar stool and walked over to the door. As soon as he opened it he was met with a familiar face. Blue eyes, brown hair, and a tanned face.“Lance?”-In which Lance goes to Adam and Keith goes to Shiro for guidance on their feelings, and Shiro and Adam relive their relationship and realize their mistakes.





	1. Adam and Lance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance goes to Adam for help with his feelings and winds up learning a lot about Adam and Shiro's past relationship.

It was 2 weeks after the paladins of Voltron had come back to earth, and Adam was sitting in his apartment, at the kitchen bar. He was staring off, deep in thought about the past 2 weeks of his life, about Takashi being back after he was declared dead, and everything else that had been sprung on him. He set his coffee cup on the bar and sighed. Too many thoughts were swirling around in his mind and he had no idea what to thi-

_Knock Knock Knock_

Rapid knocking at the door caused Adam to jump slightly and look towards the door. The knocking had slowed but was still pressing on, urging him to come answer the door. Adam carefully got off the bar stool and walked over to the door. As soon as he opened it he was met with a familiar face. Blue eyes, brown hair, and a tanned face.

“Lance?” The teenage boy peered up at Adam before he cleared his throat and started to avoid eye contact.

“I’m so sorry to bother you, Adam, it’s just I really need to talk to someone and Shiro isn’t around so I thought maybe I could come to you an-“

“Lance.” Adam stopped the boy mid-sentence. Lance glanced up as Adam smiled at him.

“Come inside. We can talk in there.” Adam said, stepping aside for Lance to enter the small apartment. Lance let out a breath of relief and a smile slipped onto his features.

“Thank you, Adam,” Lance said, before walking in. Adam closed the door behind him before gesturing for Lance to follow him to the kitchen bar. Lance slipped into the bar stool next to Adam. Adam took a small sip of his coffee, before turning his hazel eyes to Lance.

“What’s up?” He asked. Lance looked at Adam, before turning to look at his hands that rested on the countertop. He fiddled with his fingers before he finally spoke up.

“How did you know that you were gay?” Lance finally asked. Adam’s eyes widened a bit. He didn’t expect this from Lance, but Adam couldn’t help but smile at the teenager.

“I guess I just always knew. It was just a gut feeling and when I grew older I realized that I just never was interested in girls the way I was in guys.” Adam answered earnestly. Lance nodded, but still seemed nervous. Adam placed a hand on the teenager's shoulder.

“What’s wrong Lance?” He asked, rubbing his shoulder gently. Lance exhaled deeply.

“It’s Keith. I think that maybe I have a crush on him. He’s just so smart and pretty, and I keep trying to pretend like it, like he, doesn’t affect me as much as he does, but he’s just so different and amazing and I just really want to be with him.” Lance explained. Adam looked at Lance and smiled.

“You remind me so much of Takashi.” He said. Lance’s eyes widened as he whipped his head to look at Adam.

“I remind you of Shiro?” He asked. Adam nodded, fondly gazing at the coffee cup in front of him. 

“You do. You have his sense of determination, but you try to act as though things are okay. He used to bottle everything up before we were dating in an attempt to look stronger. You do that too. But if you’re as much like Takashi as I think, then you’ll realize that it’s okay to feel things and to be true to yourself. All you have to do is be patient and honest with your feelings.” Adam explained. Lance nodded, smiling a little bit now. Adam felt happy that he could help the younger boy. He reminded him so much of Takashi. Lance looked at Adam again.

“Adam, how did you meet Shiro?” Lance asked. Adam’s heart stopped beating for a minute, the mere mention of his past boyfriend’s name making him weak. Adam turned to look at the wall, memories starting to resurface.

 

_Adam was super nervous, more nervous then he had ever been before. He was about to walk into the room and meet his new roommate and flight partner. His name was Takashi Shirogane and Adam wanted to make a good first impression on him. After all, they would be spending a majority of their time with one another from here on out. Adam took a deep breath as he grabbed the cool doorknob and opened up the door. A man with black hair and stunning black eyes looked up from his place on the couch. He smiled at Adam, a beautiful smile that had Adam melting._

_“You must be Adam. My name is Takashi Shirogane, but most people just call me Shiro.” The man said, standing up and extending his hand to Adam. Adam stood still for a moment before he walked up to the man and shook his hand._

_“Pleasure to meet you, Shiro,” Adam said. The two men looked up and Adam was taken aback. Those eyes were some of the most beautiful eyes that Adam had ever seen in his life. They were filled with a sparkle of adventure. Adam could look into those eyes eternally. He was so caught up in them, he didn’t even realize he hadn’t let go of Shiro’s hand. Adam pulled back and blushed faintly. There was a small silence before Adam spoke up again._

_“So, which bed is mine?”_

 

“Wow. So you knew that you liked Shiro from your first meeting?” Lance asked. Adam chuckled and shook his head.

“No. I think the first meeting was more of a hook, that pulled me in. There were so many other things that made me fall in love with Takashi.” Adam said, almost sadly remembering the memories that they had made. 

“Like what?”

 

_Adam was walking home from a last minute gym session with Matt when he had gotten a text from Shiro._

_‘I need caffeine. Please bring coffee.’_

_Adam had smirked at the text. Shiro had spent the past week or so worrying about a huge essay he had to write for his astronomy class. He had spent more hours then Adam was awake working on it. Adam thought it was cute, that Shiro really wanted to do well in his classes. Adam was so used to people not caring that it was nice to see someone with that much resolution. Adam pulled out his key, gym bag on his shoulder and a coffee for Shiro in his left hand. Adam unlocked the door and walked in._

_“I’m home.” He said. Shiro was sitting at his desk, typing madly. Adam beamed fondly, setting his bag down and walking over to the figure of his roommate._

_“Shiro, I brought you your coffee,” Adam said. Shiro stopped typing and turned to face Adam. Adam frowned at Shiro’s form. He had bags under his eyes and he looked like he hadn’t eaten all day. Shiro let out a tiny yawn and then a tired smile appeared on Shiro’s handsome face._

_“Thanks, Adam,” Shiro said, grabbing the styrofoam cup and taking a long sip, before diverting his attention back to the essay. Adam crossed his arms in front of his chest._

_“Shiro, when’s the last time you slept or ate a real meal?” Adam asked. Shiro shrugged._

_“I don’t know.” He replied. Adam sighed._

_“Shiro, you need to take care of yourself,” Adam argued. Shiro sighed._

_“But-“_

_“No buts,” Adam placed his hand on Shiro’s shoulder so Shiro would settle his gaze on Adam. Adam smiled softly._

_“I’m going to make dinner and then you are going to sleep. You won’t be able to do a good job on your essay if you’re half asleep.” Adam said. Shiro took a deep breath, before nodding, giving a grateful smile to Adam._

_“Yeah, okay. Thank you.” Shiro said. Adam’s heart almost burst at the sleepy little thank you. Adam only smiled, before leaving to go make the pair dinner for that night._

 

“So, even back then Shiro was a workaholic?” Lance asked. Adam nodded.

“Yep. He was a hard worker and determined to do the best he could.” Adam said, smiling slightly. Takashi, his Takashi, was so much more then what could be put into words. He truly missed him and his heart shattered a little more at the thought of Shiro hating him or not loving him the way Adam did and still does.

“When did you start calling Shiro ‘Takashi’?” Lance asked, now genuinely curious about the two’s past relationship. Adam let out a small sigh slip.

 

_It was a very late night. Shiro and Adam had decided to sneak out onto the roof as a small way to celebrate 1 year of their relationship. Now they were almost done with school and they were ready to become teachers, together. So many things had happened in the year that the duo had been dating, but Adam would say it was the best year of his entire human life. As Adam and Shiro sat on the roof, feet dangling off the edge of the building, Shiro suddenly turned to Adam._

_“Adam, you know I love you, right?” Shiro said. Adam raised an eyebrow. This was generally code for, ‘I did something stupid and I need your help fixing it’. However, Shiro didn’t look like he needed help with anything. Shiro actually looked, nervous. Adam nodded, bangs flopping slightly in front of his face._

_“Of course I know,” Adam said, taking Shiro’s hand in his own. Shiro smiled softly before he blushed and looked away._

_“Good. I wanted to ask you something.” Shiro said. Adam furrowed his brows in worry. He didn’t like the way this conversation was going. Shiro shifted so he was facing Adam before taking his hands._

_“Adam, I come from a culture where a lot of people tend to go by their last names. They only allow people who they are very close with to call them by their first name.” Shiro started. Adam nodded, looking into his boyfriend's beautiful eyes. They were nervous, and Adam smiled as he squeezed Shiro’s hand in reassurance. Shiro took a deep breath and smiled._

_“I want you to call me Takashi, Adam,” Shiro said. Adam’s eyes widened as he stared at Shiro. He’d never heard anyone call Shiro Takashi before, so for him to ask Adam to call him that, it made Adams’s heart swell with joy._

_“Okay,” Adam said, almost breathless. Sh-Takashi looked up and smiled at Adam, before pulling him in for a kiss. Adam’s head felt light and his whole body felt like he was going to heaven. Takashi’s lips were slightly chapped, but they were warm and there is no one else that Adam would rather kiss then Takashi, his Takashi._

_Too soon, Takashi pulled away but kept their foreheads connected with one another._

_“I love you, Adam.” Adam smiled._

_“I love you too, Takashi.”_

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever called him Shiro since then. He’s always just been Takashi.” Adam admitted. Lance nodded, looking at Adam.

“It seems like you two really loved each other,” Lance commented. Adam nodded.

“Yeah, we did.” 

“Then what happened?” Lance asked. Adam grimaced. 

 

_“Adam, we need to talk.” Takashi had said one morning on their way back to their shared apartment. Adam turned to look at his boyfriend, soon to be fiancé and nodded._

_“About what?”_

_“I’ve been offered a guaranteed position on the Kerberos mission,” Takashi said. Adam’s brain stop processing for a minute. Takashi and he had discussed this before and he thought they already agreed that the mission was too dangerous for Takashi to go on._

_“I thought you said that you weren’t going to go,” Adam said, frowning. Takashi sighed._

_“I wasn’t, but Adam, this might be the last time I ever get to go to space again. I don’t want to pass up my last opportunity.” The approached the door to their house in silence. Takashi opened it and Adam walked through.  
Adam was still processing what this meant. Takashi was, again, choosing space over him. The first time he could handle, but this time, he wouldn’t stand it._

_“Takashi, you can’t go,” Adam said, setting down his bag. Takashi sighed._

_“I have to Adam. It’s not something I can pass up.” Takashi argued. Adam suddenly whipped around, trying to hold back the tears that had suddenly decided to well up in his eyes._

_“Yes, it is. Takashi, don’t you understand? You are getting sicker and sicker by the month. You only have a couple more years, why can’t you just spend them here with me?” Adam asked, hurting lacing his tone. He was being selfish, he knew that, but he was so worried. He didn’t want to say the thing that kept running through his mind, the one possibility the hurt Adam more than he could ever let on._

_“It’s only for one year. I’ll be back after one year.” Takashi explained. Adam shook his head._

_“That’s what you say. But you can’t guarantee that. What if something happens to you? What if you’re stuck out there longer then you think you will be and when you finally come home it’ll be too late. What if something happens in that year that affects your health even worse. What if… what if you die?” Adam let the possibility that he didn’t want to admit tumble from his mouth. Adam knew that this mission was dangerous. What if Takashi left him and never came back? How could Adam even fathom what he would do if that happened? Takashi sighed._

_“It’s a possibility, but we have to stay positive. I don’t want to give up my dream on the off chance that something might go wrong.” Takashi said. Adam scoffed, before walking to the kitchen and pouring himself a cup of coffee. He sat at the kitchen bar as Takashi took a seat on the couch. Adam was silently crying to himself now, angry and sad tears falling from his eyes._

_“How important am I to you?” Adam asked, staring at the liquid in his cup. He didn’t turn to see, but he knew Takashi was staring at him with those beautiful, sad eyes._

_“The most important thing,” Takashi said._

_“Then don’t go.” Adam pleaded. The silence rang around them for a minute, before Takashi spoke._

_“I have to.” Adam shook his head._

_“Okay. You choose Kerberos over me. If this mission is really so important, then I guess I’ll make it easier for you to go.” Adam stared at the ring on his finger, the one that Takashi had gotten him as a promise that one day they would be engaged and get married. Adam slipped it gently off his finger and placed it on the countertop. He washed the mug out quickly, before grabbing his teaching bag._

_“Adam, where are you going?” Takashi asked. Adam could hear the desperation in his voice. Adam sighed as he opened the door._

_“Takashi, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stop you from going on this mission, but don’t expect me to be waiting for you when you return.” Adam said before he let the door shut behind him. Only then, as he made his way to Matt’s house to see if he could stay there until Takashi left, did Adam allow the sobs to rack his body._

 

“I was scared and hurt. I didn’t want to lose him, not after everything. But I knew that he would go on that mission no matter what. I couldn’t stop him. So I thought maybe I could make it easier for him.” Adam spoke honestly. Lance furrowed his brows.

“You still loved him though,” Lance asked, though less of a question and more a statement.

“Of course. I spent over 4 years with him. We were going to get married. I couldn’t just get over him. God, it was terrible not knowing whether or not he was going to come home. When I found out he was declared dead, I locked myself up. I lived every day regretting ever leaving him.” Adam said.

“Well, tell him that.” Adam looked up at Lance. Lance shrugged.

“If there’s anything I’ve figured out in the past hour with you, it’s that we’re kind of similar. People we love both left us. But I’m going to tell Keith what I wish I could have told him ages ago. I think you should tell Shiro what you’ve been thinking.” Lance said. Adam was silent before he chuckled.

“Space really matured you kids,” Adam said. Lance chuckled.

“I think Shiro would disagree.” Lance joked. Adam laughed, before standing up.

“Shall we go find Shiro and Keith? I have a feeling they won’t be very far from one another.” Adam said. Lance nodded, and together the pair left the apartment with new feelings and a shared goal in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there will be at the very least 2 more chapters to this. I hope you enjoy! The next chapter will be Keith and Shiro discussing and Shiro giving some memories, some new and some old, just from his point of view!


	2. Keith and Shiro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously this isn't canon, or close to it cause Adam is dead, but just humor me and let my gay boys be happy and find peace

Shiro and Keith had decided to take a walk. When Keith had arrived at Shiro’s door and asked for help, Shiro figured that maybe a walk might help calm Keith so they could talk the situation out together. Shiro also, though he wouldn’t tell Keith, wanted some fresh air himself. These past weeks on Earth had been a whirlwind of interviews, stress, and most important, wondering about Adam.

Shiro couldn’t help but think that Adam had every right to be mad at him. Even though Adam hadn’t seemed mad when he saw Shiro when they first landed, Shiro knew that somewhere inside Adam’s mind he was mad, and it was because Adam had been right. Shiro had left and everything Adam had worried about had been true. 

The duo didn’t stop walking until they made it to a hill just outside the Garrison. They both sat down and looked over the desert that surrounded the large building. 

“So, what’s bothering you, Keith?” Shiro asked, looking over at the boy who had matured so much during their time in space. Keith sighed. 

“It’s about Lance. Today, we were training, and something felt off. Almost like he was getting more distant. He wasn’t putting his all into it like he usually does. I’m worried about him.” Keith explained, glancing at Shiro to make sure he understood. Shiro nodded. 

“Always so observant. Have you talked to him?” Shiro asked. Keith sighed and shook his head. 

“I don’t know how to approach the subject. How do you talk to someone who you have a crush on, but don’t know if he likes you back?” Keith mumbled. Shiro couldn’t help but let a small smile grace his features. 

“You sound just like Adam,” Shiro said fondly. Keith raised an eyebrow. 

“I do?” 

“Yeah. Adam used to be so unsure. For a man so smart, he was never the best with emotions. Even when we were dating, I was the more romantic one of the two of us.” Shiro said, his gaze turning soft but sad. Keith stared at his leader, pity lacing his features. 

Shiro’s mind raced. Even remembering Adam hurt. But Shiro knew that eventually, he would have to face the truth. Nothing gets better by pushing it away. However, that didn’t stop the memories from being painful. He and Adam had had something amazing, a bond that couldn’t be broken, or so he thought. 

“What did you think when you first met Adam?” Keith asked, leaning back onto his hands. Shiro smiled as the warm memory came to the front of his brain. 

_Shiro had placed himself on the couch so the minute the door opened he would be able to see and greet his new roommate and flight partner. He had heard a lot of things about the guy, Adam, and he was excited to have someone who was as dedicated to the Garrison as he was._

_Shiro turned his head to look at the door as the door swung open, signaling the entrance of his new partner. Shiro inhaled sharply at the man in front of him. He was stunning, to say the least. He had tanned skin and light brown hair that almost fell into his face. His gorgeous hazel eyes were trapped behind a pair of square spectacles. Shiro smiled at the man as he stood up to greet him, wanting to make a good impression._

_“You must be Adam. My name is Takashi Shirogane, but most people just call me Shiro.” He said, putting his hand out. There was a beat of silence, and Shiro wondered if he had said something wrong. He was relieved when the hazel-eyed man walked over and shook his hand back._

_“Pleasure to meet you, Shiro,” Adam said, before looking up. Shiro’s eyes widened slightly. Up close, the hazel eyes were even more beautiful. Shiro could see flecks of gold, almost looking like shining stars in his eyes. He was so focused on them, he didn’t even realize that they were still holding hands til Adam pulled back and flushed slightly. Another beat of silence._

_“So, which bed is mine?”_

__“That’s adorable, but also incredibly awkward.” Keith teased. Shiro smiled._ _

__“I knew instantly that I had a crush on my roommate. But it took me a little while before I knew that it wasn’t just a small crush, but a huge crush.” Shiro said, reminiscing._ _

__“When did you know?”_ _

_Shiro was sitting across from Adam at their small kitchen table. A cup of ramen in front of both of them as Shiro shuffled through the cards in his hands._

_“I think we went through them all,” Shiro said. Adam groaned, and Shiro looked up, an eyebrow raised._

_“Can we run through them, just one more time?” Adam asked. Shiro sighed and rolled his eyes._

_“Adam, you’re going to do fine. If there’s one person who can ace the advanced computer programming class you’re taking, it’s you. You’ll be absolutely fine.” Shiro said, setting the cards down in favor of eating his, now, lukewarm ramen. Adam sighed._

_“I don’t know Shiro. It feels like I’m not ready to do it yet.” Adam replied, picking at his food._

_“What do you mean, you’ve been studying like crazy. You’ve even stopped working out daily in favor of running through the flashcards. You’re going to get an A.” Shiro said. Adam just shrugged, still just picking at the ramen with his chopsticks. Shiro chuckled slightly as he put his hand on top of Adam’s hand. Adam’s hands were soft and smooth and just slightly smaller than Shiro’s. Shiro looked at Adam’s honey colored eyes and smiled._

_“Adam, you are going to kick advanced computer programmings ass,” Shiro said with full confidence. Adam took a deep breath before he smiled back at Shiro. Shiro could feel his heart flip and he had to do everything in his power to not just kiss Adam right there._

_“Thanks, Shiro,” Adam said, before gently taking his hand back. Shiro almost shuddered at the loss of warmth, but he just gave a small smile to Adam before turning back to his food._

“He used to doubt himself in almost everything, despite him being one of the smartest people I’ve ever known. He was never super confident in himself or his emotions for that matter.” Shiro explained. Keith raised an eyebrow. Shiro looked at Keith and smiled. 

“Yeah, he was a ball full of doubt. Constantly rethinking every decision. 

“Really? I can’t imagine Adam being anything that wasn’t self-assured and confident.” Keith said. Shiro chuckled and shook his head. 

“It took him years before he was really ever confident. And even when he was more confident, he still was easily flustered.” Shiro said. Keith chuckled. 

“Really? How so?” Keith asked. Shiro grinned. 

_He and Adam had been walking around the Garrison Campus, holding hands and talking about whatever popped into their minds. It was late, near sunset, and the two had decided that instead of having a date night, a walk might be a better plan. It was warm, and the scene was absolutely perfect._

__

_“Anyway, one of my students, Keenan, he’s absolutely amazing. A little sassy, but very smart and he’s got a lot of spunk.” Adam was rambling about his students, and Shiro grinned at the face of his excited boyfriend. He didn’t even realize that Adam had asked him a question._

____

_“Takashi?” Adam said again. Shiro shook his head a little bit before looking into Adam’s hazel orbs._

_____ _

_“What?” Adam chuckled and shook his head._

______ _ _

_“I asked how Sean was doing?” Shiro smiled. Sean was one of his students. Amazing kid, honestly._

_______ _ _ _

_“He’s making progress. Still not super sociable, but he’s making progress.” Shiro admitted. Adam smiled._

________ _ _ _ _

_“I’m glad.” The pair stopped as they approached the high point of the campus. They overlooked the desert and could see the gold and pink of the sunset perfectly. They stood in silence before Shiro turned to Adam._

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_“Adam, can I ask you something. Something important?” Shiro asked. Adam, like he did often when Shiro phrased a question like that._

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Yes, Takashi?”_

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“So, we’ve been dating for a while now, and I really really love you. Hell, I loved you from the minute you stepped into our room. The past couple of years with you have been the happiest of my life. We’ve pushed each other, made each other better. I am in love with you, so totally in love with you.” Adam was smiling, more like beaming at him. Shiro’s hand brushed the velvet box in the pocket of his pants. Shiro took a deep breath, but getting down onto one knee and pulling out the box. Adam gasped._

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I want to dedicate my life to you. You are the most important thing and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So will you, Adam Williams, marry me?” Shiro’s hands carefully pulled the box open. A silver band with the words ‘Forever and Always’ inscribed on the inside was inside. Tears pooled and fell down Adam’s cheeks as he smiled._

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Oh my goodness. Yes, Takashi, Yes!” Adam exclaimed. Shiro stood up and the two immediately embraced one another before kissing. When they pulled apart, Adam was flushing a very deep red. Shiro laughed as he pulled the ring out of the box, which he then haphazardly threw onto the ground, and slipped it onto Adam’s finger._

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“We’re literally engaged, and you are still blushing over a kiss?” Shiro teased. Adam elbowed him lightly, though still smiling._

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Don’t tease me,” Adam said. Shiro looked at the box and decided to not pick it up. There was no way he was going to need that box ever again, and he knew he was correct as he and Adam linked hands and watched the sky turn from the brilliantly painted sunset to the rich and dark nighttime._

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Keith was smiling as Shiro finished retelling his tale. 

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’ve never heard the story of how you and Adam got engaged. I did notice that you still wear the ring sometimes though.” Keith said. Shiro nodded. 

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Yeah. Though I don’t know why. It’s useless at this point in time. Adam hates me.” Shiro said, frowning. Keith furrowed his eyebrows. 

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I don’t think he hates you. You would have to do something really, and I mean really bad to make Adam upset with you.” Keith said. Shiro sighed. 

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I know. And I did do something really bad.” Shiro said. Keith looked to his mentor, curiosity in his eyes. 

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“What happened?” Shiro grimaced at the memory. 

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Shiro knew that this wasn’t going to go over well with Adam. Almost every situation that he played out in his head ended badly. However, there was one that ended well. Well, for Adam that is. But that situation also hurt Shiro in the process. Shiro took a deep breath, as he usually did before bringing new or asking questions to his significant other._

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Adam, we need to talk,” Shiro said, as they walked back to their house. Adam, surprisingly, looked at Shiro and nodded. He must have finally gotten used to Shiro’s vague and scary way of phrasing news. What unfortunate timing._

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“About what?” Adam asked. Shiro’s brain was racing. Now that he was here, he wanted to back out. He wanted to tell Sam and Matt that he couldn’t go, even if it could possibly be his last chance to do a mission, to go to space. But he had to do it. He needed this._

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I’ve been offered a guaranteed position on the Kerberos mission,” Shiro said. There was silence. Shiro didn’t dare look at Adam’s face. He was afraid that the reaction would be bad. Correction, he knew it was going to be bad, but he didn’t want to know how bad. Adam stayed silent for a minute as they walked._

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I thought you said that you weren’t going to go,” Adam said. Shiro looked up to see Adam frowning. It broke his heart, and he knew that what Adam was saying was true. When they had discussed this earlier, he had said he wouldn’t do it, that he wanted to be here with Adam. But things had changed and now he needed to go._

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"I wasn’t, but Adam, this might be the last time I ever get to go to space again. I don’t want to pass up my last opportunity.” Shiro argued. Adam was silent again, this time for longer. He stayed silent until they reached the door. Shiro grabbed the knob and swung the door open, holding it for his fiancé._

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Takashi, you can’t go,” Adam said, setting down his bag. Shiro sighed._

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I have to Adam. It’s not something I can pass up.” He argued. Shiro watched as Adam whipped around to face him. His eyes widened as Adam’s tears became to fill with tears. He didn’t think that Adam would be this affected by his decision._

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Yes, it is. Takashi, don’t you understand? You are getting sicker and sicker by the month. You only have a couple more years, why can’t you just spend them here with me?” Adam asked, hurting lacing his tone. Shiro was taken aback. Sure, everything Adam stated was true. Shiro was sick and only had a couple more years. But the mission was only supposed to be a years time. When he got back, he and Adam could get married and then anything that happened afterward wouldn’t matter._

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“It’s only for one year. I’ll be back after one year.” Shiro explained, trying to get his fiancé to see reason. Adam shook his head, hazel eyes shining with tears._

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“That’s what you say. But you can’t guarantee that. What if something happens to you? What if you’re stuck out there longer then you think you will be and when you finally come home it’ll be too late. What if something happens in that year that affects your health even worse. What if… what if you die?” Adam stumbled over the last part. Whatever argument was brewing in Shiro’s mind faltered. That’s what Adam was truly worried about. Shiro’s death. Shiro thought back to the statistics. In any space mission, death was a possibility. But the thought of going back to space for one last hurrah was overtaking any possibility of an accident._

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_“It’s a possibility, but we have to stay positive. I don’t want to give up my dream on the off chance that something might go wrong.” Shiro said. Adam scoffed, before walking to the kitchen and pouring himself a cup of coffee. Shiro sighed as he took a seat on the couch. His mind was a jumble of everything. Why couldn’t Adam just understand what he needed to do? He needed to do this mission. They sat in silence for a moment or two._

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_“How important am I to you?” Adam asked. Shiro turned to look at Adam. Adam’s back was to him, and he was almost thankful because he knew that the minute he saw those hazel eyes staring at him, his resolve would melt away._

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_“The most important thing,” Shiro said, earnestly. After everything, Adam was the one constant that he had. In the midst of all the bad, he had Adam. Adam was his whole life and his whole future._

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_“Then don’t go.” Adam pleaded. The silence rang around them for a minute. Shiro debated back and forth in his mind. He loved Adam, but he only had one last shot. He couldn’t miss it._

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_“I have to.” Shiro finally said. He watched as Adam shook his head._

_______________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Okay. You choose Kerberos over me. If this mission is really so important, then I guess I’ll make it easier for you to go.” Shiro didn’t understand for a minute. What did Adam mean? He wasn’t choosing Kerberos over him, was he? He watched as Adam placed something on the kitchen bar. Shiro’s eyes never left Adam. Adam washed the mug out quickly, before grabbing his teaching bag._

________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Adam, where are you going?” Shiro asked, desperately. His fears were growing. Adam wasn’t speaking. Where was he going? Adam stopped as he opened the door._

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_“Takashi, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stop you from going on this mission, but don’t expect me to be waiting for you when you return.” Adam said before he let the door shut behind him. Shiro stared at the door for what felt like an eternity, hoping that Adam would suddenly walk back in and say it was all a joke. Peck him on the lips and tell him that he had just gone out to get them dinner. But 15 minutes later turned into a half hour, and a half hour turned into an hour. That’s when Shiro knew Adam was gone. Shiro finally stood up and walked over to the kitchen bar, and he let the sob, the sob he didn’t even know he was holding in, tear through his chest as he saw the engagement ring, Adam’s engagement ring, on the counter._

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“I chose space over the love of my life. I had to have that last glory mission, and I was so caught up in it that I didn’t even notice that it was ripping him apart.” Shiro said. Keith looked up at his mentor sadly, seeing the pain clearly scrawled on his face. 

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“But I can see where you were coming from,” Keith argued. Shiro shook his head. 

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“That didn’t make it okay. I should have never abandoned Adam. In the end, he was right. Something went wrong. Now I have a mechanic arm and white hair.” Shiro said, the painful truth settling in. Keith put a hand on his older friend’s shoulder. 

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“Shiro, you and Adam both made mistakes, but he still loves you, and I know that you still love him. You guys need to talk.” Keith was intelligent for a teenager. He sure had matured. Shiro sighed. Keith was right. He and Adam had been avoiding long interactions and completely dodging spending any time alone. Maybe it was time for them to talk things out, once and for all. Shiro nodded. 

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"You’re right.” Shiro felt confident. Like he was ready to take on the world and even tell Adam of his feelings. 

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“Keith! Shiro!” A familiar voice rang out. The older man and the younger man both turned to see two tan boys walking towards them. 

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And in an instant, Shiro’s confidence abandoned him.

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	3. Takashi and Adam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro felt like he was a 20-year-old again, looking into those hazel eyes that he had avoided since landing on his home planet 6 months ago. Adam was slightly out of breath, having just sprinted with Lance for a solid 5 minutes until they reached the mountains and could slow to a walk. When the tanned pair reached the two pale boys, they smiled.
> 
> -
> 
> They finally talk. It goes bad... but also good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So S8 was not my favorite, and I wrote this honestly because I was upset that we didn't get more Adam, or any Adam at all, this season. Also stayed tuned! I've got an AU story I'm writing, as long with an S8 fix-it fic that I'm going to begin shortly. Enjoy the finale (?) of this book!

Shiro felt like he was a 20-year-old again, looking into those hazel eyes that he had avoided since landing on his home planet 6 months ago. Adam was slightly out of breath, having just sprinted with Lance for a solid 5 minutes until they reached the mountains and could slow to a walk. When the tanned pair reached the two pale boys, they smiled.

“Hey, Keith can we talk?” Lance asked. A faint blush painted Keith’s cheeks as he nodded.

“Of course.” Lance gave Adam a supportive smile, as did Keith to Shiro, before the younger ones walked a substantial way away to discuss their feelings and emotions. 

Then it was just Adam and Takashi. The two stood in awkward silence.

“Should we sit?” Adam asked. Shiro nodded and the two of them sat where Shiro and Keith had been placed earlier. The stars were sparkling brightly over them, and the moon could now be easily spotted. A warm, gentle breeze swept over the 2 men's faces and they were both suddenly reminded how similar this night was to the last night that Adam and Shiro had spent before their fight.

“So, how are you?” Adam asked, almost stiffly. Shiro smiled weakly.

“As good as anyone who was kidnapped by aliens and has almost died numerous times can be.” Shiro attempted to joke. Adam didn’t laugh, only grimaced. There was more awkward silence.

“What happened to your hair?” Once again, Adam bravely pursued a conversation.

“Stress,” Shiro replied simply. Adam, without meaning to, reached out a hand to examine the white flop of hair on Shiro’s forehead. Adam froze as he realized what he was doing. He quickly moved his hand back into his lap, avoiding any contact with the Paladin in front of him.

More silence. 

“So, Adam…” Shiro said. Surprisingly, Adam put out a singular finger to hush Shiro. Shiro quickly shut his mouth and looked at Adam. Adam sheepishly gazed down at the ground, letting out a small cough, and rubbing at his upper left arm awkwardly.

“Takashi, I talked with Lance today, and I relived a lot of memories. Good memories, until the fallout.” Shiro’s heart fluttered as the name ‘Takashi’ rolled off Adam’s tongue, just like it had 2 years ago when the two had last addressed each other by name. Shiro watched as Adam took a deep breath, and then looked up. Adam was taken aback by Takashi’s eyes. They were almost more beautiful then he remembered. Adam felt his face warm ever so slightly before he shook his head and looked at Takashi with a soft glance.

“I should never have left you. I was a terrible partner. You needed me most, and I left you. I made you choose between your dream and me, and I feel like a monster for that because I was supposed to support you, and I didn’t. I let you leave thinking that I hate you. And looking back, that was the most terrible thing I could do.” Adam was starting to get emotional. He could feel tears beginning to prick at his waterline. He took another shaky breath, still looking at Takashi, but this time moving an inch closer.

“When I heard that you had been assumed dead, I was devastated. I had let you die thinking that I didn’t love you. I had been so selfish that I couldn’t support you and that led you to die thinking that you had no one on Earth who would truly miss you. After I heard, I locked myself up for days, Takashi. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, and I barely left my house to teach my class. I had to temporarily move out of our apartment because it reminded me too much of you. I have never hated or been more disgusted with myself then at that moment.” Adam said. Tears were now running down his face as he looked down to the ground again.

“I failed you Takashi. And now you’re back and the only thing that I can think about is how I don’t deserve you.” Shiro hated seeing Adam like this. He hated seeing Adam cry and knowing that it was because Adam blamed himself. Shiro reached out, and before he could stop himself, he cupped Adam’s face and wiped away the tears streaking his face with his finger. Adam’s sad hazel eyes looked into Shiro’s soul and Shiro could feel the emotion rising in him as well.

“Adam, you didn’t fail me. What you did was perfectly understandable. If anything, I failed you. You had stuck by my side for everything. You stuck by me after I decided to go on that stupid moon mission the first time, even though I knew how long I would be gone. When I chose space the first time, I wasn’t even that sick. You stood by me and supported me. You sent me off with a smile and greeted me with a smile when I arrived back.” Shiro grimaced. It had been true. Adam had encouraged him to go on the mission and was there for him throughout the whole process. Shiro felt rare tears burn his black eyes.

“And then when we found out about the seriousness of my sickness, you still stood by me. You told me to smile, do my exercise, reminded me to eat my vitamins and more. I didn’t deserve all that but you did it anyway. You even took care of Keith when I needed you to, which I know was hard cause you don’t always see eye to eye. You would sit and help me grade my work, bring me food on my bad days when I almost couldn’t move. You were there for me. And I… I left you.” Shiro stopped, tears falling from his eyes like leaves off trees in the fall. He wasn’t known to be a big crier, but right now, in front of the love of his life, he would make an exception.

“I left behind everything that mattered to me for one, stupid mission. I left the love of my life, my soulmate, behind for the universe. But I was so stupid, I didn’t see that my whole universe was right here, with you.” Shiro knew what he said was cheesy, but Adam’s blush was enough reward. 

“I honestly don’t understand how you can stand in front of me and tell me that you missed me, or that you regretted anything. You made the only choice you could. I couldn’t ask you to wait for me forever. But you did, even when you said you wouldn’t. You are deserving of everything. You deserve the sun, the moon, the stars. You are most certainly deserving of my love. My simple, plain love.” Shiro said. Adam was crying, and so was Shiro. The pair stood, looking into each other's eyes. They had moved hands so they were now holding hands with one another. Then, Adam surged forward.

Shiro followed.

Adam would never forget the feeling of having his Takashi’s lips back on his. They were just like he remembered. Chapped, but warm. God, they were warm. 

Shiro almost sobbed. He missed these lips. The smooth, almost warm, almost cold lips that belonged to his fiance. His fiance. Adam. They belonged to Adam.

They stood like that for a minute, Adam’s hands cupped around Shiro’s cheeks to pull him into the kiss and Shiro’s arms wrapped around Adam’s waist. Their bodies molded together like clay, like two puzzle pieces meant to go together. 

When they did finally pull apart, Adam looked at Takashi and started to laugh and cry. Shiro smiled as Adam took one hand from his shoulder to wipe his tears. He missed Adam. A whole lot.

Adam looked at Shiro. He was different, no doubt. He was scared, bruised, beaten. He was flawed. But even with all the bruises, the scars, the white flop of hair that Adam already loved, it was still his Takashi. The same Takashi that he bought coffee for. The same Takashi who would scold him for prioritizing his grades over his health. The same Takashi who would sneak onto the roof every night with him. The same Takashi.

“I love you Takashi,” Adam said. Shiro smiled.

“I love you, Adam. I love you so much.” Adam smiled, pressing his forehead to his lovers.

_Takashi and Adam were laying in bed. It was chilly, but thankfully the two men had each other to hold for warmth. Adam was spooning Shiro, a rare sight to see, but Shiro was by far colder, and Adam was in charge of warming him. It was silent, but neither were asleep._

_“Adam.”_

_“Yes, Takashi?”_

_“Do you think that after we get married, we’ll have kids?” Shiro asked. Adam raised an eyebrow._

_“Kids? Isn’t Keith a big enough handful as it is?” Adam felt Takashi’s back move from laughter before it moved to signal that Takashi was turning around. Adam unlatched himself and allowed his partner to roll to face him. Shiro looked at Adam with those gorgeous black eyes._

_“I guess, but I mean one that we BOTH choose. One that we get to raise. You didn’t get to choose Keith and I didn’t get to raise him from a young age. I just act as a temporary guardian. Wouldn’t it be nice to have one of our own?” Shiro said. Adam thought, before smiling._

_“Yea, it would be nice.” They sat in silence._

_“The wedding is so near,” Shiro said. Adam nodded._

_“I know. I’m excited but also stressed. I didn’t know getting married would be so complicated.” He said, chuckling. Shiro laughed as well, moving closer._

_“I know. If I had it my way, then we’d already be married.” Shiro said, pressing their foreheads together. Adam agreed._

_“Me too. But mami’s already upset she won’t be getting any grandbabies soon, at least until my sister and her boyfriend get married. Papi said it would probably just be best to give her the big wedding.” Adam said. Shiro smiled. He knew that the real reason for the wedding was also partially because Adam wanted one too, but his love would never admit that, at least not on purpose. Shiro pressed a swift, but tender kiss to Adam’s lips. Adam smiled into it, before fluttering his eyes open to look at Shiro, smiling._

_“Soon, we’ll be married. And it will be the most wonderful amazing wedding. And I’ll finally be Adam Shirogane-Williams.”_

_“And I’ll be Takashi Shirogane-Williams. Husband of the most handsome man in the universe.” Adam giggled and smiled._

_“I love you Takashi.”_

_“I love you, Adam. I love you so much.”_

Adam looked at Takashi, tears not spilling anymore, but the residue of tears still on his face and in his eyes.

“We still having that big wedding? Mami was upset it never happened.” Adam joked. Shiro laughed, before smiling.

“Of course. Wouldn’t want Rosa upset, now would we?” The two laughed and for the first time in years, for the first time since Shiro had looked at the door after Adam had left, for the first time since Adam had taken off that engagement ring, things were okay. Everything was okay.


End file.
